Get Down with the Trumpets.... then clear up this mess!

I got a Kindle for my birthday a few months ago and I’ve read the entire Hunger Games Trilogy (awesome, and thoroughly enjoyable, btw), and then I read 'Madeleine: Our Daughter’s Disappearance and the Continuing Search for Her', swiftly followed by 'Trafficked: The Terrifying True Story of a British Girl Forced into the Sex Trade'. 

And did I mention I’ve written a novel about a 14-year-old British girl who accidentally gets caught by child traffickers and forced into prostitution?

There is a pattern emerging here (aside from the Hunger Games bit, that was a glitch and, frankly, a well-deserved holiday for my nerves!) and it’s no accident. But I’m not entirely sure whether it’s a perverse interest in the actual subject matter or whether it’s part of an inane desire to remind myself how fortunate I am. Because, like others in the same position as me, desperately trying to get someone, anyone to take an interest in their book, I have those down days when life is crap, my writing sucks, and what the hell am I doing wasting my time? And it’s during these times of self-pity that I slap myself around the face and hunker down with a good book that speaks of others less fortunate. But that in itself is self-indulgent; it’s a pat-on-the-back that I’m doing alright, Jack. I have a place to live, a healthy family, and a few nuggets in the bank. I’m not desperately searching for a loved one or suffering intense emotional trauma. I’m fine… but apparently that’s not enough.

So then I move on to consoling myself with the thought that when I get my novel published it will create more awareness of the unspeakable (literally, it seems) horror that is child trafficking for the one group of humans that stand a chance of doing something about it – the next generation. I wholeheartedly believe that our hoody-clad teens are going to save the world, one hip-hop at a time. After all, it’s going to take a lot more than just us to even make a dent in the 2.45 million people that are trafficked each year (half of which are children) in the short time we have left on this earth. And that figure is likely to be vastly underestimated according to ECPAT UK (http://www.ecpat.org.uk). So we’ve got our work cut out for us, and we need help. So that is why my book is for Young Adults; it’s a gift from me to them, a sneaky peek into their future. 

And what a future it is.

Anyway, back to making me feel better about myself…

I've written a book! Thank you, thank you, I know, great achievement. But that's not the half of it... what the blazes do I do now? I thought writing it was the hardest thing I'd ever done, but let me tell you, that was just the beginning! It turns out there's a whole load more involved in getting the wretched thing published. And I was soooo blasé about it, I figured once I'd written my masterpiece (it is, honest), I would just wing it over to a few agents, they would fight over it and promise me the world, and I would be hugely rich and famous in a matter of months. Well, it turns out that's not the case. Apparently, it helps if you're famous already... or at least have a few best sellers under your belt, that's when they're really interested in you. Not if you're a nobody... a random who has written a book but no one has heard of you. I guess it's similar to getting that first job you've always wanted. They only want you if you have experience. Then the cry goes up: how do I get experience if no one will give me a shot!! 

So, here I am, flailing about uselessly on the edge of a ginormous pond, hoping someone will toss me in and give me a chance to swim with the big fish! 

So I tried a few agents, and a couple of publishers, and what followed was a barrage of rejection letters. And let me tell you, it's harsh being told that your 'masterpiece' is not, perhaps, such a masterpiece, but we wish you all the best with finding another agent who will tell you it is. Hurrumph!

What I am learning - and this is why I hope it's sooo hard, and why it all takes sooooo long - is humility. When I think of some of the people that made it BIG, eg. Richard Branson, Lady Gaga, JK Rowling, et al, they all started out like me: at the bottom, fighting their way, all the way, to build something out of their talents. They didn't give up, they kept battling away until someone (it only takes one person, but it has to be the right one) believed in them enough to blow their trumpet for them. But until you have experienced that struggle you can't fully appreciate the rewards of the end success you are striving for. If it all falls into your lap then you take it for granted, and then it's more likely to slip through your fingers and be gone before you even knew what you had.

So that's what I'll do too, I'll keep persevering because I know that when I do get there, when I finally achieve my goal of getting my book published, it will be the best feeling in the world because I'll know I didn't give up just because it all got a bit difficult, and I'll REALLY appreciate what I've achieved. 

At least that's my story, and I'm sticking to it!

I am a regular contributor on the Brit Writers blog.